Most romantic relationships start off with unrealistic expectations. When one is asked about what they are looking for in a long term partner, the person ends up giving a predetermined set of expectations like good looks, chivalrous behavior, etc. Some go beyond the physical expectations and plan the overall progression of the relationship and the roles each one of them will play in it.
The problems arise when one of them or none of them can fit the criteria and not live upto the expectations of each other. One needs to understand that these expectations arise from various influences like family, films, TV, social media, peer group, past experiences or the fantasy books. Either of the potential partners can end up exhausted trying to meet the expectations thus the new relationship is ruined before it blossoms causing disappointment to both the partners.
It is important that you distinguish in your mind what is really that you need in a partner without which you won’t be able to make the effort for the relationship. What one wants out of the relationship can be negotiated but the needs of a person cannot be. Consider what is important to you and then go about looking for that specific need in the partner when looking for prospects on the dating sites.
Don’t limit the choices due to wants like occupation, intellect, or physical attributes such as height, weight, and hair color. Being open about the wants can lead you to happier times for instance if you are looking for someone really intelligent but you end up meeting someone who is curious about life then go for such a person rather than limiting yourself. Curious people grow smarter over time. They are open to learning and acquire more knowledge gradually.
Similarly go for someone sensual over sexy, caring over beauty, mysterious over glamour, humor over wealth and a person who has similar values over similar ethnicity. Stick to what you extremely need in the relationship like values, goals, ambition etc but you can negotiate the wants by being open to what life and a person is bringing to you.
